Well. whew. An actual race. I took off 12 months. TWELVE months away from crits and road and all the roadie races. I just trained. Got my head on straight.(hmmmm kinda)
I really wasn't going to do Super Week at all because , mostly there were no road races and the profiles for all the races were flat. I told Hank I wasn't going.
But then Sydney said "girl...If I lived there and had all those races I'd be doing all of them and even some men's". Ok she didn't say the men's races too but I know she woulda done some men's races, she can't help herself. Her words convicted me and I decided to do some races. I felt guilty a bit. But sheese the races were messed up a little this year. I think it kept others away. Oh and Super Week races are known to be notorious for crashes. .... AND really really fun. So I signed up for two during the week and hoped for good weather for the weekend. No, I didn't do them all this year and I don't have that 'epic' feeling you get from racing all the races of Super week. But I am pretty tired now. Plus, it does mark the nearing of the end of summer so there is also a sadness to its passing.
and relief. HA!
Superweek is a series of about 23 races and the crits (criteriums) were all they had to offer the women this year. The Women only do 7 days of racing usually. Unless you are a cat 3 then you can do a ton more. Heck I raced so lousy I probably could cat down to 3 and race some more. HA! Thinking about it. Hmmm. I understand the stink of why they couldn't do the road races but it was a true bummer. ANd I was kinda hoping for Whitnal I love that crit.
Anyway. Crits are kinda like playing a video game. Training and Gaming is the way its done. Its July and a lot of the gals been racing all since March.
And GAME. Games like WarCraft come to mind. OKOK stay with me here. You are playing a role playing game that you roll the dice and get some attributes. Then you take those attributes and work with them. You pick your character. Each character has certain types of 'super powers'. The super powers might work well on one course and not so well on another. A person with well rounded and good super powers will be a good crit racer. The more experience points you have the more races you can set yourself up to win. Experience points are hard won and getting them is hard work. Experience points enhance your super powers. IF you dont race you dont get experience points. See? Just like that game online. Simple enough. Someone who lacks in one super power can work with what they got to win a race. I dont know what all super powers I have but Flat races are tougher for me. :)
Oh and you have to pick a disposition. Good, Neutral or Chaotic Evil.
Last year I did a lot more aggressiveness. You know, chase people, grab attacks as they went, get caught. Try a few more times. I had a rythm. Work work work. Hank calls it flailing. I'd get some lousy place maybe in the money maybe not. I had a TON of fun especially at Carl Zach. This year I said I'll try to sit in more. But you can't really sit in on these races. It doesnt work for me at least.
But crits take a lot more than just sprinting and fitness. There is experience. You can either be a fox, being chased. Or you can be one of the hounds and win that way too. Smart hounds usually win and the fox usually gets eaten. If you jump into one of these , You got to be willing to fight. To play the game. I love it when the fox wins. HA!
There are tactics, errors, crashes, mishaps. You got to pedal pedal pedal and stay alert the entire race. Just a simple thing like not lining up front can cost you the race. ..... and that is exactly what happened to me and..... in probably one of the few races that I could have done well at. Bensenville. I had NOT intended to but got lined up in the back. I didn't know the course , I didn't race the day before so I was unaware. PLus I was nervous and not so sure of myself. Not a good choice for a 'first race'. I took a practice lap when they opened up the course and it was my downfall. When I came around the other side, the girls were all lined up ready to go. I had to get lined in the back. Game over. unnnnnnnnh (buzzer noise)
That cost me 5 laps and it cost me the race. I was tossed back in the corners and had to come out of my saddle to get back on every time. We all did. It was like getting stretched on the end of a big rubber band. How many times can you pull a fat rubber band out...back ..out..back ...out- back...out-back..... before your arms get tired of that? see? After 4 laps ...I was not thinking of moving up anymore. After 4 more laps I was trying to survive.
It was 100 degrees out! The few gals in the front were dictating the race and the ones that had the will to jump were doing so. But the pace was high and no breaks got away. Yesterday, same race, the break got away. So today, no one let anyone go.
I kept pedalling and pedalling. Ride hard on the long stretch slow on the corner, corner, ride...come to a stop at the next corner. Out of saddle. Go go go. MOve a little up while everyone rested... THen start over. Lap after lap. Track stand, stop, Jump to get on. Track stand. Stop. Jump to get on. doh. doh. doh. ugh. After 4 more laps...a few gals started to fade...a gap in front of me. Got around the gap...worked to get back on. Another 2 laps. More gapped riders....I was off the back...Worked to get on with my head down, big chain ring full RPM..FSA.... caught them before the corner..barely got back on. Hung on a bit longer. 10 laps to go. THen I cracked. DONE. Had enough. Just got tired of the tug of war. Training ride over.
I took the bike path and went home. Better ones than me had sat up, too. I look back and realize I raced totally awful. Ugh. But I'll post this anyway so folks don't feel so stupid cause I know others did the same thing. I should have just WENT hard to get up front in the first two laps. That would have saved me to finish. At the very least finish. I held back early on when I should have done all I could to get up there. I think my brain was trying to figure out that I was actually racing. I was there. It was happening. And I really wasn't ready to do all the sprint stopping stuff. Pretty much everyone's super powers were fading fast in the heat and with the stop and go of the race. Women were cross eyed. ONe gal rode in the grass for no reason. Just started to ride in the grass. She got back on fast and for all I know we were only going 20 mph. It just felt like 30 at that point. I had lost the will to fight. I think the race ended with more than 1/3 missing.
The next day I paced the floors at home thinking thinking thinking. I was not sure. But....desire won over logic and I decided to go race. There is just something too fun about Shorewood to not go. Wide open roads, wind, lots of fast paced Prime fun. Dang its a dangerous sport though. We really do roll the dice every time we start up one of these things.
Speaking of start. The race didn't start on time and they shortened it down to 20 laps. Right then it was a different race. Different race for me. I get a minor advantage in longer events because .....HA! ...... My 'super power' takes longer to warm itself up to reveal itself. Sometimes they just never reveal at all! ha! I like longer events as a rule and I do come out a bit more shining when the races are longer..... and less technical.
But here we are. The race started and I managed to move up on lap 5 and I was holding a good spot in the dead center of the field. Holding it. Hank said to pass at least 2 riders every lap so I was passing passing passing. The corners were easy so it made holding my position good. Six laps into the race, a crossed wheel and a crash happened on the back strait-away. They soon stopped the race. But before the race was halted, We had a big split in the pack.
I was around the crash even as it was happening and saw the girl go clean over her handlebars Ouch! But the front group was racing so I took off to get them. I caught on and kept up. But the whole time I was just thinking "whywhywhy are you guys all sprinting ...?" It is common knowledge that, in the midwest at least, we let ALL the riders behind the crash back into the race. ...whether they were in the crash or not. If you get caught behind the crash, You don't have to put yourselves out to get back on or worry about getting split off. I have never checked to see if it is a rule or not. I was told by one rider that this is highly irregular and not acceptable. This rider was from California and she said it would never ever be allowed in the races held in her state. But it IS allowed in our state. As frustrating as it is if you are one of the lucky ones that rides around the crash it is very upsetting to put yourself on the rivet only to come around the corner and see half the field back on again. You just dropped them and now here they are, rested and ready. Doesn't seem fair. But I have also been on the other side of the coin. I did it because if I didn't, I"d be a chump. Or out of the race. It is what it is ... They allow it. Take the lap. Seriously. ANd yes I did very well that day I took the free lap and probably because of that.
Search your heart. What do you think is fair?
I saw Robbie McEwen on tv chase to get back on after a crash in a pro race. He was in a crash. Fell off the back. He FOUGHT...used his team mate, used cars, got back thru to the back pack...rode thru that to the next pack.. finally he got to the front group and then moved up to the front... Made it in time to sprint and then he even won the race. He never skipped a beat.
See? Sometimes it helps to be chased by the devil.
anyway. THey had to stop the race to let on the emergency vehicles.
So we were stopped for about 20 minutes or so. We lined up yet again. I think we lined up totally 3-4 times for this race since it started. I love that team of spunky orange, spirit driven Hub racers and one of them had been off the front when they had halted the race. So before we started, they told her to 'roll out' behind the pace car. We were in line waiting for her to get some distance. But she was having fun and took off hammerin' full steam ahead. Someone said that this particular Hub rider (Dale?) was not capable of doing a 'roll out'. We all had a good laugh about that.
I decided to do SOMETHING and when , at three laps to go, After one of the last primes, I saw a break in the distance. I had pretty much some 'fresh as a daisy' legs now. I have not done anything and was sitting nicely in the pack. I think everyone else was pretty good, too, seeing as how the race was shorter and with all the resting we had.
So. I bridged up to a break. I swear this one was GOING. THey kept going after a prime and the teams were blocking. Our peleton was not moving and the gals in the break were representing different teams. Hank said if I saw something like that I should kill to get to it. He said there is no woman racing here that I can't bridge to. (he's so sweet when he talks to me like that.)
SO I did. I saw another gal jump to go so I went. ...about 5 of us went. The break now had 10 riders. I made the connection, a little bit winded, and hoped for a pace line right away. We all waited. We were on the straightaway now. Suddenly the break just slowed way down. I think the folks with me just bridged all they had so they wanted to rest. We were expecting to do some work but.....None of us reacted. I think we were all waiting for someone else to do it. I would like to tell you that I made a counter. Lord knows I could have. THe voice in my head said GO~ It said to just do it. But I held back. I was waiting for someone else to do it. Let me tell you. IF that was Brian or Hank or Ron or Tim or anyone else I train with, I'd have not hesitated. I would have gone. I love to do that. Its fun.
SO. THAT is the crux of it all. I had it in my legs to do it. I could have just GONE. I held back. I hesitated. GAME OVER . We were all Sooo slow it was tough to get on the pack as it screamed past us. I got on but now my position was bad. stupid stupid girl.
You snoooooooze you lose. I am going to tape that to my stem.
I have a feeling it is a story that 70% of the peleton has after the race was done: "man I shoulda done this..." . YOu get those opportunities once and sometimes only once. If you don't take them then its a lifetime you may never get that chance again.
I am certain I am not alone in my regrets and that is where the game is.
Here is something I learned from this:
I talked to Sydney about it after. What is wrong with me when I have NO problem attacking the guys that I train with, (all for fun) Why am I not afraid of THEM but I am scared of .....women? Hmm. But these are not ordinary women. They are all extraordinary cyclists, chisled athletes. Amazons. Women from New Zealand and Australia and even that far away country California where they grow them fiercer than anywhere else. So maybe a bit of intimidation was in me. Dang it.
I know I am not alone. I know there are other women (and men) that just sit in and miss opportunities. What is in us that makes us hesitate and just NOT go? Demons. Fear.
Syd said. Basically you lose if you do'nt try. LOSE.
Hank said I was afraid of losing. I think he is right. Its FEAR. Fear froze me up.
YOu got to have NO fear. No fear of losing. CONFIDENCE , Be willing to lose honorably and gloriously. If you GO...you do'nt lose. You can't. If you get passed up and can't do it. You at least tried your best.
I worked at my job on friday but got a good pep talking from Sydney. She texted me while I drove to work and told me that very thing. A quote from her father:
''If you don't even try, you lose. If you try as hard as you can, give it your all and you get BEAT by someone better. There is no shame in that.''
I told her she really should stop pulling the field around, stop with the primes. Wait and then GO. She was riding super well and I felt she could win. She had it all in her pocket to do it.
THEN.
She texted me later in the day.
SHE WON. Sydney won Ripon.
:)
I"m a believer.
Some pep talk huh??????? WHOOHOO. That was REALLY cool. She mirrored all the talking back onto herself and it gave her the mental attitude to WIN. She listened to that instinct that said JUMP and she answered it full force and didn't hold back. That is what its all about.
Awesome.
I decided Carl Zach was too dangerous in the rain and it seemed to be a dicey day. Its dangerous on a dry day. I think I had a bad feeling and decided to just be lazy. Sure enough there was a bad crash. At least one. It was just an accident but it took out a brilliant racer. Bri K. from Team Revolution. Sydney's team. I hope Bri from Team Revolution gets better and comes back stronger than ever. She should check out Kirsten Armstrong. She had to have surgery for her knee and she took 9months off to recover. She took the recoery time to change her biking position. She got herself more aerodynamic. That did it for her to get even faster and to win world level races. Now look at her. Olympic bound Armstrong!
Bri you can do it! Stay positive and if you get down just call up Sydney or other gals with good attitudes. Just know that even folks you never met but are following your career, we are all praying and hoping for a fast recovery for you.
I was really on the fence about Evanston but I decided to show up. I almost asked for my money back to go home but I saw Sydney go by and then other riders were all saying hello to me. Debby was there. She just went thru the ringers last week with her personal life so I was happy to see her out. She hopefully could win today representing for Chicago. BTW..she got 5th! That is awesome. Great job Debby! I read her blog and she got herself stuck leading out the entire pack but she held onto her speed, didn't choke and managed to still get a podium finish.
I had my own fantasy's of winning mostly the nite before when I was imagining the race. But now that I was there, lined up, I started to get barfy. ''the fears'' again. I pushed them aside. I realized that all that pep talk...I wasn't going to just quit. I had to try. Still, when the air horn finally went off, I was so nervous that I didn't even clip in!
NO!!! At the start. I couldnt get my clip in. DOH. I recovered from that pretty fast though but I lost my starting position rapidly. I dont think it really mattered much in that first lap.
Why was I so freaking nervous? I was so nervous all day I didn't hardly even EAT. I was racing hungry. Sheese. Its a training ride, right? Hank said its good to be nervous, it means you still care, its when you don't get nervous anymore that you should hang up your bike.
I worked hard. I fought. I held my position for 3 laps with 5 to go. I worked worked worked. Two more laps. I mostly got passed in the corners. I realize that I am rusty at that so I can work on it and improve. I was braking like a girl. doh.
I got passed more than I passed. NOT good. Hank was watching and he said I would stop pedalling when someone in front of me stopped. THAT is wrong. That is the trick to crits, you got to always be pedalling and if the person in front of you stops, you move around them. Go Grab a wheel! grab it. Whew I get tired just thinking about this!!!!!
Then the Mushroom happened. The evil mushroom. THAT is where the real queens of crits come out. The girls that wait for that are ready and they WENT to the front zooooom. Its not like its wide open but we dont flood the roads like the men do. There are spaces galore available. I just don't see them. That ability to see and grab and grab and pedal and go. Last year I was flowing with the front, this year... I went left and the way to go was right. I go right and get to a wall of wheels and blockage and people coasting........everyone that was on the left is moving up. I am not aggressive enough. There was room. PLENTY of room. I simply stopped pedalling my bike. Somewhere. GOSH darn. Its like playing one of those video games.
I tried to keep moving up but the pack got to that fourth corner and POW they took off. It was all I could do to hold where I was. I had used up too much of my meager super powers and now I needed all the rest of what I had to just hold my position. With one lap to go I got a bit nervous in the dreaded Burger King corner. I can't remember but I am sure I braked. Let myself lose more positions. It did not look too good and when I came out..I saw that I was so far back that its silly to keep pushing it. Just ride in. Keep it safe. Dang ~I was out of juice. If I can't get a top 20 I certainly am NOT risking life and limb for 30th.
Some of the spent and tired 'lead out girls' were pedalling around me so I just came in with them. Those are the hero's sacrificing themselves to get a win for the team. They did their job in the last 2 laps and now were waiting to see if their team mate won. Whenever I see someone that won I ALWAYS scroll down to look for the team mates to figure out who did the lead outs. Molly did a great job for Sam who won. Molly is a super woman amazon that hurt her back a couple years ago. I see she is back and as strong as ever. She did an awesome awesome job protecting Sam's position and setting her up for the win. I am happy to see her out there stronger than ever.
Well. I can work and train. I have the ability but need to focus more. I just got to get the nerve and the timing. I know I can do this.
I am not going to label myself as 'not able to race a flat crit' . I am NOT.
If life is like a Disney movie then this is the sad scene where the hero is dejected and going home a huge Loser. ''HhhOUIOGE' as they say in Chicagoland. So now I have to train, work, fix my attitude and come out and try to do better next time. Maybe to win Huoighe!.
game NOT over yet. Just paused.
well. thanks for reading. :)
Hi AMY!!!
